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Why I'm still a minimalist after 14 years

Matt D'Avella · 2025-07-02 · 11м 26с · 436 469 просмотров · YouTube ↗

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Минимализм — это не про вещи, а про осознанный выбор приоритетов в мире, где реклама и соцсети тотально манипулируют идентичностью и ценностями. За 14 лет практики самое сложное — не избавиться от хлама, а удерживать простоту в решениях, работе и отношениях, когда жизнь постоянно меняется.

Идентичность как защита от манипуляций

Ярлык «минималист» — не поза и не претензия на превосходство, а инструмент самовнушения, который формирует идентичность. Когда человек называет себя минималистом, он закрепляет в сознании историю: «я — тот, кто ценит достаточно, а не больше». Это делает его устойчивее к рекламным сообщениям, которые десятилетиями микротаргетируют аудиторию по её ценностям, страхам и стремлениям. Если раньше реклама просто кричала «купи», то сегодня она встраивается в вашу личную идентичность — «будь таким, как этот бренд». Минимализм же закрывает разрыв между тем, что вы декларируете, и тем, как живёте.

Фильтр простоты: один вопрос для всех решений

Чтобы не усложнять жизнь, достаточно одного вопроса перед любым крупным решением: «Это сделает мою жизнь проще или сложнее?». Вопрос работает для бизнеса, финансов, отношений. Конкретный пример: инвестиции в недвижимость. На бумаге звучит заманчиво — купить дом под ремонт, сдавать, получать доход и рост капитала. Но реальность: такое предприятие отнимает массу времени, создаёт стресс от владения и обслуживания. Фильтр простоты дал однозначный ответ — сложнее. Вместо этого положили те же деньги в индексные фонды: доходность сопоставимая или выше, а стресса ноль. Этот же фильтр помог отказаться от найма штатного видео-редактора и от партнёрства с другим создателем на крупном проекте — хотя оба решения казались перспективными.

Этапы жизни минималиста: от подвала до отцовства

Минимализм не статичен: он меняется с каждым жизненным этапом. У одинокого парня в подвале родителей это просто избавление от лишних вещей. После переезда в Австралию, покупки дома и женитьбы пришлось пересматривать, что означает «простота» для двоих. Но кардинальный сдвиг произошёл с рождением ребёнка. Внезапно исчезло время на работу, спортзал, творческие проекты и даже просто на тишину. Первые месяцы было обидно и раздражало — казалось, что приходится жертвовать всем.

Отцовство как переосмысление продуктивности

В интервью с Райаном Холидей (автор книг, многодетный отец) прозвучал неожиданный ответ на вопрос «как быть продуктивным родителем?». Холидей сказал, что больше гордится не продуктивностью, а тем, что проводит с детьми тонну времени: сам отводит и забирает из школы, готовит обеды, не пропускает ужины. «Самый очевидный способ быть продуктивным родителем — просто пренебрегать детьми, что исторически часто и делалось». Этот разговор заставил перестать обижаться на свой выбор. Снижение выпуска контента, меньше часов в зале, отказ от проектов — это не провал, а прямое доказательство того, что семья действительно в приоритете. Минимализм как подход сместился с оптимизации каждой минуты на создание пространства: утренние прогулки с сыном, отвоз и забирание из садика, ранний отбой. Теперь вместо «выжать максимум» — «выбрать зоопарк вместо монтажа, борьбу в гостиной вместо работы за компьютером».

Те же вопросы — другие ответы

Через 14 лет минималист задаёт те же вопросы, что и в начале: «Что мне действительно нужно для счастья?», «Как я хочу тратить своё время?», «От чего я могу отказаться?». Но ответы стали кардинально другими. Если раньше это были вещи и расписание, то теперь — время с семьёй, присутствие, способность не гнаться за каждым проектом. Минимализм не даёт магических ответов, но предлагает рамку — напоминание замедляться и возвращаться к тому, что реально важно.

📜 Transcript

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This video is sponsored by Squarespace. More on them in a little bit. So I've been a minimalist for over 14 years and I really don't think it's ever been as difficult as it is now. Back when I first found out about it, it felt like swimming against strong current. Today it feels like standing in front of a fire hose. Companies have fine-tuned the levers to manipulate you into behaviors that suit their best interest. From social media to advertising, it doesn't just influence the stuff you buy. Jewelries, cars, shoes, the new iPhone, a horse. It changes your lifestyle, your personality, your values, and your self-worth. And now with AI, that influence is getting faster, smarter, and more invisible. Yeah. The result. A world that makes it incredibly difficult to live simply. A world that makes it hard to be content with what you have, or even to feel like you're enough. And because of that, I think minimalism is more relevant today than ever before. So I've called myself a minimalist through many different stages of my life. From my early single days living in my parents' basement. Basically, I'm just getting rid of all my stuff. To meeting, moving in with, and eventually marrying Natalie, who first thought minimalism was a cult. Oh yeah, I thought it was a cult. Living in New York, everyone has their weird quirk, so I'm like, I guess he's a minimalist. To moving to Australia, buying our first home, and having our first child. I think each of these stages has taught me something new about myself, what minimalism looks like for me, and the best way for me to live simply in a world that continues to value more. Really, one of the earliest lessons I learned about minimalism is that the label minimalist itself is surprisingly helpful. So when I say that I'm a minimalist, I'm not just virtue signaling that I'm better than you because I only own one t-shirt, although I am. I'm reinforcing a story about who I am and who I want to be. So for me, being a minimalist means I aim to spend less time shopping, less time on screens, less time thinking about what I don't have, and more time appreciating what I do have. Minimalism is a reminder that I have enough and I am enough, and it makes me so much less susceptible to messages that try to convince me otherwise. This is about the power of identity, which ironically is exactly what advertisers have been using for decades to get you to buy more. Today, they don't just broadcast general ads. They micro-target you based on who they believe you are and who you believe you are. They tailor their messaging like a chameleon, adapting to your values, insecurities, and aspirations. They might speak to the early adopter, the concerned parent, or the insecure alpha male. Nothing stops America and nothing stops RAM. They're not just selling you products, they're selling you identities you need to live up to. But you can also use this to your advantage to help you change your behavior. Minimalism has definitely done that for me. It's helped close the gap between what I value, and how I live. Now, sure, there are moments when the label itself can feel limiting. Sometimes it can box you in or hold you back from growing. I know I've certainly experienced that myself. But in the face of this constant barrage of consumerism and digital noise, I found it's still one of the most helpful tools I have. So over the past 14 years, I've had very little trouble when it comes to the physical stuff. But I think the area where I've really struggled to keep things simple is less about what I have and more about what I do. So a few years ago, I looked around and realized that I'd made things way more complicated than I ever wanted with my work. I had nearly a dozen employees, a packed schedule, more projects than I could finish. It all added up until I finally asked myself, what would my work look like if it was more simple? That question led me to completely rethink how I structure my work today and to go back to being a solo creator again. It might not have looked like the successful move from the outside, but it made me feel a lot more successful. And to prevent myself from ending up in the same place again, I now use a simplicity filter. It's just one question that I ask before any big decision. Will this make my life simpler or more complicated? I use this for business, finances, relationships, anytime I feel torn about a major move. Because for a while, every choice I made, hiring, expanding, launching new projects, was about adding layers of stress, layers of noise, and complexity. So to give you a few examples where I've recently used this filter, should we invest in real estate? Should I hire a full-time video editor? Should I partner with another creator on a big project? These are exciting, potentially high reward decisions, but they also come with a ton of hidden costs, whether that's time, energy, money, or even pressure. Take real estate investing, for example. On paper, if you have the money, it might sound like a fun side project. Buy a fixer-upper, rent it out, build equity, maybe even make some money on the side. But when I asked myself this question, will this make my life simpler or more complicated, the answer was obvious. Having gone through the process of buying a home before, I know how much of a time suck it is. So instead, we decided to keep it simple. We put the money we would have used on a property into the stock market. In the long run, this will probably give us a similar, if not better, return. But more importantly, this decision didn't come with the stress of property ownership. That's not to say I always choose the simple path. Some of the best, most meaningful decisions in my life have definitely made things more complicated, whether that's starting a new YouTube channel or having a child, but the simplicity filter really helps in those gray areas. When I'm torn, it gets me back on track. It helps me to gut check the trade-offs and to avoid saying yes to things just because they sound exciting in the moment. Over the past couple years, I've radically simplified my entire business. I've scaled things back, cut out obligations, and went line by line through every tool that I use. Most of it didn't make the cut, but one that I kept because it's invaluable to how I run my business is Squarespace. They're the sponsor of this week's video, and I want to share why I've been using them for over a decade and why I recommend them to all my creator friends. First, it's just easy. Squarespace has always been one of the easiest website builders out there, and it's gotten even easier to get started with their new Blueprint AI website builder. Just follow the prompts and build a website in minutes. As a solo creator, this is huge because it means that I can design, develop, and publish my website all by myself. While the platform is easy to use for designing beautiful websites, Squarespace also supports creators and small businesses in other ways. You can use their built-in tools to manage your domains, schedule blog posts, review your analytics, set up an online store, and book consulting gigs. The last reason I recommend Squarespace to all my friends, and this is a big one, It just works. When the stakes are high and I'm launching a course, getting thousands of people coming to my website, I need to make sure that my site's performance is reliable. And when it comes to Squarespace, I've literally never had to worry about that over the past 10 years of using their platform. If you want to see why I trust Squarespace with all my websites, then go to squarespace.com today for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash Matt D'Avella to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And remember, when you sign up for Squarespace using the links that I shared in this video, that's going to go a long way to helping to support my channel. Over the years, minimalism has looked very different depending on the season of life I've been in. While my wardrobe hasn't changed much, pretty much everything else has. Minimalism as a single guy living in his parents' basement, it doesn't get much simpler than that. Add a partner, move to a new country, buy a home. Lots has changed with each of these milestones, but nothing shook things up quite as much as becoming a dad. It was a massive adjustment and I really struggled with it in the beginning. It's true what they say about parenting. You don't really know what it's like until you're in it. No book, podcast, or well-meaning YouTube video can fully prepare you for the mix of exhaustion, joy, frustration, and wonder that comes with raising a child. Suddenly, I had so much less time than before. I had less time for my work, less time to go to the gym, less one-on-one time with Natalie. less time for creative side projects, less time to just be still. In the early days, I definitely felt a lot of resentment. It felt like I was sacrificing so much to be a parent. I was frustrated and angry that I couldn't do it all. During that time, Frankie must have been around nine months old. I interviewed Ryan Holiday while he was traveling through Sydney. Ryan's probably the most productive dad I know. He's written a dozen bestselling books, creates tons of content, and from everything I've seen, he's an incredibly present and caring father. So I asked him, how can you become more productive as a parent? Obviously, one way to be productive as a parent is just to completely neglect your children, which is the way that I think historically it was often done. I'm less proud of how productive I am and more proud of the fact that I spend a lot of time with my kids. I take them to school. I make their lunches. I pick them up from school. I very rarely miss dinners. We just spend a ton of time together. His answer got me to think about things differently. When I became a dad, I had instinctively made a choice. I prioritized my family over everything else. Instead of being resentful about this choice, I should be proud of it. My lower output at work, fewer hours at the gym, less time for creative projects was a direct sign that I was making the right choice for my family. Bye-bye, Frankie. Bye-bye. I can no longer work 10-hour days. I can't stay up late editing or say yes to every exciting idea. I had to let go of who I was and what I was able to do if I wanted to be a good dad. Now you might be wondering, What does this have to do with minimalism? For me, it was about embracing a simpler life and appreciating what I have. I'm no longer as worried about optimizing every minute of my day and squeezing every last second out of my schedule. Right now, I'm more concerned about creating space. Space for morning walks with my son, for daycare drop-offs and pickups, for getting to bed early because I know he'll be awake at 3 a.m. It's about choosing the zoo over the edit. wrestling in the living room instead of being alone at my computer. Yes, it means that I won't be able to make as much money, that I don't create as much content, that I miss out on some big projects, but I also don't miss bath time or slow mornings or walks in the morning to get coffee with my family. Embracing minimalism as a dad has gotten me to ask the same questions I did over 14 years ago. What do I really need to be happy? How do I want to spend my time? What are the things I can let go of? While these questions are identical, the answers are very different now. That to me is the real benefit of minimalism. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life doesn't stop changing. I'll keep being surprised by new seasons, new challenges, and the ways that I grow through them. But what stayed consistent is this. Minimalism has always helped me find clarity when things get messy. As you know by now, it's not a magic fix. It doesn't have all the answers, but it gives you a framework, a way to slow down. a reminder to keep coming back to the things that matter most.

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