I went way too far this time.

The story that I'm going to tell here is about one of the most intense and beautiful experiences of my life. Every child wants to believe in superheroes. It's comforting to think that there are forces for good out there, ready to protect us and fight evil. But of course, you grow up, right? You realize that superheroes with superpowers like that don't exist. That there is no planet called Krypton. In the cold light of day, The world can be a scary place. Growing out of childhood, it was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that adults don't know what they're doing. Life is so full of unknowns. But you know what? A funny thing happens when you yourself are the one to charge into battle. And I'll tell you what that funny thing is. You surprise yourself. Okay, don't get in my shoes. I sign myself up to run a marathon. I'm not a runner. But this, this is not a film about running. This is a film about a journey we must all take in life. It's about taking the leap from waiting for superheroes to throwing yourself into battle. I go through waves of being very nervous and waves of feeling like, okay, it's going to be good. Right now I'm not nervous, but like an hour ago I was having a panic attack basically, so I just sit and meditate. So it's, you know, it's a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I've never done 128. Really? Yeah. 28 is your max. Yeah, this is the moment we realize I'm fucked. And for reference a marathon is 42.2 kilometers or 26.2 miles and I'm running it in my home city of Paris But let's rewind a little bit because like I said doing this thing was about way more to me than just running One of the things that made me discover running in the first place was actually anxiety For as long as I can remember I've been obsessed with the feeling of freedom in some ways though Having a phone, spending so much time on the internet, it can begin to feel like I'm a prisoner in my own body. I just feel trapped. All the scrolling, all the clicking, so much going on in my mind and so little in my body. I feel like in the 21st century, we sometimes act like we don't have physical bodies anymore. And so years ago, I accidentally stumbled upon running as a way to break out of that prison. I'm so happy. What a run. At a record pace. I feel great. And so running slowly became this thing that anchors me in the physical world, that makes me feel free. Arriving at the starting line, I met up with my friend Hamza, who I met during my training for this marathon. It helped me to be there with him because I was feeling really nervous. And surrounded by thousands of people, it occurred to me that I may not really be alone in my feelings. That we're all looking for ways to navigate the tough, invisible things that hold us back. We all dream of being heroes. The seconds counted down as we drew closer to the start of the race. Everything I had done over the last few months had pointed to this very moment. And the time had come. With so many people and so much energy, I was practically floating. Little did I know just how intense things were going to get and the depths within myself that I was going to have to dig. I don't have any words. I don't have any words. Why the fuck would you bother running a marathon? It's a lot of pain and no one was forcing me to do this run. Maybe we do this kind of thing because we feel we need to prove something to ourselves. Of course, just completing a marathon is an accomplishment, but that wasn't enough for me. I wondered if I could do it in under four hours, which would beat the average finish time of someone who completes a marathon. Why did I need to have this goal? I'm not sure I have an answer to that. You figure out who you are through adversity. I wanted to figure out who I was. No gels yet. No music yet. Going at what feels like a steady pace. Almost 14 kilometers. I feel like I've entered a rhythm just listening to my breathing. There's a long way to go, but I feel like I'm at a good pace. About to cross kilometer 18. I'm beginning to understand why they say it starts in the second half. The thought that there are so many kilometers left is not comforting. I'm just gonna keep my pace and try to focus on why the fuck I'm doing this. The morning before the run, I was extremely nervous. I don't know what to do with myself. And what you see me doing here is a part of the story that I'm embarrassed about, but I think it's important that I include it. I don't feel like I can include this in the video. People are gonna judge me so hard. This is me reading the warnings included in the pack of Imodium that I bought at the pharmacy. Imodium, for those of you that don't know, is an anti-diuretic. Throughout my training I struggled with something that is known as runner's trot which is a need to go to the bathroom after a long-distance run It's actually more common than you'd think and has spelled disaster for many runners. I'm embarrassed about this because it's not cool It doesn't fit into the image of myself that I want to share with the world Superheroes don't deal with problems like this In my mind only fucking losers do But actually, I wouldn't blame another person for struggling with this. It's just that I'm extra hard on myself. I was the kid that was scared to do track and compete with the other kids. I would do it. But inside, I was always afraid. Something about being out there physically feels very vulnerable. It's the flip side of that freedom that I feel when I'm out there. You know, you can fail if you don't try. But when I'm out there, it feels like I'm on the battlefield. And when you're on the battlefield, anything can happen to you. Okay, we're at almost 26 kilometers. Past kilometer 28, right as I'm approaching the Eiffel Tower, I will be in completely uncharted territory. I had never in my life run farther than that. And the reason I hadn't is because of my injuries in training. Life is not something you can ever fully prepare for. So at a certain point, you just do your best and hope that it's enough. I did my best to prepare for this marathon, for example. Getting my ass whooped. But having never gone through the process before, I kept facing unexpected obstacles. I'm just not a fast runner. Injury challenges, which forced me to take breaks from the training or adapt my approach. A month before the marathon, my left shin was fucked. My shin splints refusing to go away no matter what I did. Then my right hip stopped cooperating with me. It was demoralizing. Pain in new places. Can't run super fast dealing with this. It's really hard not to... I feel depressed about things right now. Running is a lot of ups and downs. Physio told me, work on mobility. When I simply could not keep running because of my injuries, I cycled instead so that I wouldn't lose everything that I had worked for. And if you can't run fast, at least you can run consistently. Just ran the best run of my life. I've done everything I can to prepare. I'm as ready as I'm going to be. Time to just show up for the big day and give it my all. Things are about to get significantly more intense I want to take a moment here to share about the specifics of my preparations for this marathon as I know that's going to be a question I will be receiving quite a bit I'm going to include links in the description to resources that I used that helped answer the questions I had in preparing for this, but I will say that the marathon handbook was huge. I followed their training plans and it was really helpful to have something to guide me through this process. Another big piece of my preparations for this marathon and the sponsor for this video is Athletic Greens. I'm really happy that they're sponsoring this video. because I just like what they make, and I went through an entire box of their product while training for this marathon. It's loaded in vitamins and minerals, which I was losing a lot of from all the sweating I was doing in my training. It also supports gut health and energy, which are both really important to me. And I know this part's really obvious, but it tastes really good to me. It became part of this post-run treat. tradition ritual thing that i was doing using the link in the description you can get a year supply of d3k2 and five travel packs for free with your first purchase it really is a cool product thank you athletic greens for sponsoring my marathon people i don't know are cheering me on it's making me a little chill now i was running on pure momentum and the energy of the crowd you can see as i approach 35 kilometers that i'm starting to struggle 35 And my eyes are sunken from the exertion. Definitely the hardest run I've ever been on. Having to dig deep. But one thing was for sure. Nothing but the hardest kilometers lay ahead of me. Final stretch. Final fucking stretch. Time began to slow down for me. And with every step I could feel myself getting heavier and heavier. The further I went along, the more I saw people around me in pain. Runners that had at first blasted past the starting line were now walking or limping. I saw two friends wrap the arms of a third friend who was a marathon runner around them and helping him keep going by carrying his weight as he trudged forward. The pain in my thighs and hamstrings kept growing in intensity. I kept negotiating with myself to keep going, to not forget that this would only go on for a little longer. Less than five kilometers before the finish line, I looked down at my phone as I skipped tracks until I found something that would keep me going and saw a text from my brother who was tracking my progress. It said, oh my god, and in the screenshot, my estimated finish time was 3 hours, 56 minutes, and 50 seconds. It occurred to me that a sub-4 hour marathon might actually be possible. That was the first time I really began to believe it. But I had 3.4 kilometers left, and I could feel myself slowing down rapidly. But there were people out there supporting me. My brother was watching. My parents and some of my closest friends came to see me. I could not let them down. I had to show them how much it mattered to me. I pulled out my earbuds and let the massive energy of the crowd keep me going. It was like running through a gigantic human tunnel. Everyone screaming at the top of their lungs. People I didn't know. Something about humans supporting other humans, especially in moments of struggle, makes me very emotional. I could feel tears welling up and my throat tightening, but I shut it down. I had to stay focused on not stopping. The final few hundred meters felt like they were never going to end. My heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest. Finally, I could see the finish line. That final hundred meters, quite frankly, didn't seem real. Months of preparation, of imagining this moment, and suddenly as it stood before me, I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know I could do this. A marathon feels like an impossible distance, but here I was, the nervous boy who was shitting himself that very morning. about to cross the line. You know what? Maybe I'm not a superhero. I'm not breaking any world records. I can't fly or lift cars. I'm not even that fast of running. But what I was doing in that very moment was something I had no idea I had the strength to do. Day one of training. Oh fuck. And that might just be enough for me. In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. Crossing the finish line. The invisible armor that I usually wear when I'm out in public felt like it had been ripped off. I looked down at my phone. I had finished the marathon in 3 hours, 59 minutes, and 44 seconds. 16 seconds under my goal. Usually, I always find a way to put my feelings into words, to explain the situations I'm in, but not this time. I had given absolutely everything I had, and in a sense, I think I was stunned with what I had just done. Seeing my parents and two of my closest friends waiting for me after the finish line, I completely broke down. There is nothing more beautiful to me than humans supporting other humans. And them being there for me in that moment made me the luckiest person in the world. I really believe it was their support that helped me get to the finish line. You know it makes you think. Who needs superheroes when we have each other?

To get a 1 year supply of Vitamin d3+k2 + 5 individual travel packs FREE with your first purchase, go to https://athleticgreens.com/nathanieldrew

Marathon training plans → https://marathonhandbook.com/trainingplans/marathon-training-plans/


my blog/newsletter → https://nathanieldrew.substack.com/
second channel → https://www.youtube.com/@nobackupplan
instagram → https://www.instagram.com/nathanieldrew_/
online courses → https://www.nathanieldrew.com/onlinecourses
music → https://johnny-harris-x-tom-fox.disco.ac/cat/1632843844


Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro
01:20 – Act I: Searching For Freedom
03:49 – Act II: Humans Don't Make Any Sense
06:26 – Act III: Digging Deep
08:32 – Sponsor
09:14 – Final Stretch of the Marathon


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Music

The original Nathaniel Drew x Tom Fox soundtrack → https://www.nathanieldrew.com/nathaniel-drew-original-soundtrack