The Only 8 Minutes You Need To Become A Better Communicator

have you ever walked away from an important conversation thinking damn it why didn't i say that better you froze in the moment and then you said the bloody wrong thing in the wrong way which then caused people to look at you differently after 15 years as a communication skills coach i've noticed there are three specific habits that most people do which cause them to be overlooked in their career and only once you change these habits it then transforms the way you come across to others in this video i'll share with you three moments from an exclusive communication workshop where these problems came up and exactly how to fix them i am asked to speak a lot in my work yes i try so hard to not get nervous and to hold myself well and to speak clearly but in high pressure situations i will ramble And it will be a long soliloquy where there are no full stops, no commas. It just goes on and on and on. You're articulating yourself very well right now. You barely breathed while you did that. You felt like you did that on one breath. So something that helps us with that from the first point is learning something called declarative statements. So declarative statements are statements that are short, punchy, to the point. So when you make statements like this... It forces your brain to not be in a state of rambling. Because rambling is when, oh, you know, if you want to become more authority with what you're saying, then what you can do is, you know, you can keep your sentences, you know, sometimes a little bit short. And you can do that by putting a full stop at the end. And, you know, what happens after you do that is it helps people feel like you have more authority than you think. That's rambling. Whereas declarative statements, you have to practice this. It's a skill. So here's my challenge for you. You go to a random word generator online. And then you go, give me a random topic. And then within two minutes, three minutes, you have to continually make declarative statements about that topic. For example, it says duck. Now you have to make declarative statements about a duck. A duck has two feet. Ducks, when they're young, are yellow. As they grow, they can be many different colors, often white. And you're making these declarative statements as a new behavior to replace rambling. So you have to learn how to make sentences that are shorter, punchier, and have more authority. First thing. Second thing, you need frameworks. You need to learn frameworks. Because when you don't rely on frameworks, what happens is the following. When your brain is crazy, when you're thinking all over the place, this is what causes rambling. Because they ask you a question, you think about a topic, your brain just does that, and then you start talking like that. Because you're speaking your thoughts. And when you speak your thoughts, it's not clear. What you need to do is you need to learn frameworks. And what frameworks do is it distills your thinking into a meaningful piece of communication. So the simplest one I teach and I use this and people go, oh, it's too simple. Nope, it's what I use. And you'll see me do it every Q&A. It's just called three, two, and one. So three steps, two types, and the one thing. So when you're speaking and you want to be extremely precise, you can use the one thing. Because I can say the one thing I have to say. about how you can improve use declarative statements that's me using the one thing to answer a question whereas most people when they speak they're doing this you're being clear and concise and with frameworks it gives you a container to put your thoughts into that becomes more clear now if frameworks are something you want to go deeper on i've put together a free two-hour crash course where i share three powerful communication frameworks to help you improve the way you speak while you're under pressure so that you can come across more clear concise and coherent in any situation just click the link in the description or you can scan the qr code that's on screen again it's completely free and thousands of people have been through it so go check it out but here's the thing fixing what you say is only half the picture the next two moments focus on how you actually say it when i raise my volume i feel like i'm shouting at everybody but then when i lower the volume i get told i couldn't quite hear you so that means jeff you're saying that there are times when you go loud but you feel like you're shouting Are they perceiving it like you're shouting? Or do you feel like you're shouting? No, no one's told me that I'm shouting, so I feel like I'm shouting. Okay, this is an important point I need to make. There's something when it comes to communication is that it's your internal perception versus external reception. You're internally perceiving yourself to be a certain volume. People externally are perceiving you to be a certain volume. And right now there's a mismatch between your internal and the external. What would you say your average volume is on a daily basis? What would you say that it is? Five. Five? Five out of ten? Okay, cool. So you use that number, and in conversations, now when you speak, I want you to do this experiment here at this workshop, then at the end of the conversation, you just ask one question. Hey, can I ask you, if you had to rate my volume between one and ten, one is whispering, and ten is being obnoxiously loud, where would you say I sit? And now you want to calibrate the internal perception versus the external reception, because it's off. Because if you feel like you're shouting and no one's ever giving you that feedback, if you maintain an internal perception that you're shouting, you'll never increase your volume. It's a psychological thing. So what you need is you need real-life feedback, you need to go in conversations, and you'll think you're at a five. You might think, and in a conversation, this workshop, I want you to go in at a nine or an eight and just do it. So when you're doing this, then at the end of that, you say, what do you think my volume was? And then what's going to happen here, Jeff, is they'll go, I think you're at a five or a six. But in your head, you're like, I thought I was a 24. Surely I was shouting the entire time. And then as you do this more and more and more, you calibrate your internal perception and the external reception. And you have to go through this process. Because I have so many students who come to me and they're going, I feel like I'm screaming when I talk like this. I'm like, no, no, you're not. You're not screaming. So as you balance that out with feedback, the equilibrium occurs and you go, oh, right. So it's not shouting. Then you train the new behavior. You've got to go through that experience. Okay. Do you see what I mean? Most people who are quiet, they think they're shouting when they're not. And most people who are loud don't know how loud they actually are. So calibrate your internal perception and external reception of your volume if you want to be heard by others in the right way. But here's the final problem. When most people try to speak louder, they end up sounding angry. They start sounding too direct and then they end up shouting at people. Here's what you do instead. I'm a very direct speaker. We sound like we're yelling, but we're not. We're just talking and we're using our hands a lot. So it sounds angry. It looks angry. And yeah, my face is a bit more expressive. So how do I? The key thing is melody. The key thing for you is a bit more melody in your voice. Say exactly what you just said to me again, but just add a little bit more melody in your voice and then smile. Say the same thing in three, two, more melody. So I find that people take my tone. really poorly and I'm a bit more direct and so I'm just talking with my hands and all I'm doing is expressing myself and it's being taken the wrong way isn't that amazing yes doesn't you sound completely different you sound completely different completely different but I bet you're sitting there right now going yeah that's not me it is you if you want it to be you because you are all of it you are not just one dimensional you are multi-dimensional you are hip-hop k-pop if you want to do something You are all of the genre. And I think a lot of us restrict ourselves to only singing one genre, using our voice as one genre. And the reason why it feels so comfortable there, because you've been repeating the behaviours for the last 10, 20, 30, 40 years. So it feels right. Is it right? No, it's just default. The moment you did that, everyone was like, whoa. That's why communication is one of those realms where the smallest things you do, you will start to see the biggest differences in the way people react to you. but you have to be willing to explore now the unfamiliar explore what your instrument is quite capable of you've got such a beautiful voice and so many wonderful qualities don't go through this life playing one key oh thank you that's very nice so let this be a moment that opens your mind to the possibility all of you have access to an incredible instrument when you learn how to play it people will listen

In this video I'm taking you into 3 powerful moments in my exclusive communication workshop.

FREE Frameworks Training ➡ https://free.vinhgiang.com/communicationupgrades

I'll teach you 3 communication frameworks to master conversations 🗣️

=== Timestamps ===
0:00 - Intro
0:30 - Speaking Under Pressure
3:37 - Controlling Your Volume
6:17 - Sounding Less Direct

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=== About Vinh Giang ===
Vinh Giang is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, communication skills expert, and magician. He blends his unique talents to captivate audiences and deliver powerful lessons on the art of influence, persuasion, and effective communication. His mission is to empower individuals and leaders to communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact, enabling them to unlock new levels of success in both their personal and professional lives.

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